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Jun. 4th, 2007

This journal is being disowned. It will be deleted in about 36hours. My new one is gottaketchamall
So I'm deleting this journal. Let's start with that.

I reread it last night, while I was thinking. It's got everything from about the time Gabe and I started dating in it, so it stretches back quite a ways.

It's nice to know I continue to repeat the same mistakes.

So I'm deleting it, and hopefully letting it all go. Fresh air would be nice.

My other journal is staying though, so Katherine, you'll still have to deal with my emo poetry from time to time.


Ok, look. When it comes to my body, I'm not particularly sensitive, but there is one subject that you can reduce me to tears pretty quickly if you bring up. You can go ahead and laugh, and tell me my hair's too frizzy, my butt's too big, my left eye's a bit lazy, my ear's stick out, my nail's are short, and my chest's too small. But if you bring up the fact that my skin is just down right awful, I snap.

My dad, who has all the tact of a Reese's monkey, proclaimed very loudly today that my skin is bad and that I could be a really pretty girl if I took care of it, but right now I'm just well...

So I snapped back, and now they're angry with me. And I now have to go see a doctor about it??? Fuck no. It'll go away on its own damn time. Just leave me be!!!!

</end rant>

Umm... other than that, life is uneventful. I'm babysitting on Thursdays and have my work cut out for me this summer, both at work and at karate (apparently I'm testing at the beginning of next month. Not quite sure why, but he told me I would today. Hmm.)

Plans for this month include Sturbridge with Mrs. Sylvester and her boys (Aiden, who's 10, Patrick, who's 7, and Liam, who's 4), babysitting Damien, working at BEC, a trip to Long Island (NEXT WEEKEND!!!!), a dentist appointment, and possibly driving to the ocean. And maybe a new car. I don't know.

Umm...That's it. There's other stuff, but I really don't want to talk about it, so I won't. So....END.

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are outgoing (100%), romantic (71%), musical (68%).

Punk Rock93%
Emo Kid89%
College Student73%
Life Experience

Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 54% of the time.
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Working Class. You make more than 30% of those who have taken this test, and 93% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 60%, hotter than 47% of other test takers.

brought to you by thatsurveysite

May. 18th, 2007

I'm done with exams! This makes me happy.

Everyone's leaving. This makes me sad.


For some reason, I had tickets to go see the circus. The circus was in Ronkonkoma, and in order to get there, I had to take a train. Matty and Justine decided not to go, so I walked down the Hempstead Turnpike, and took a left onto a street that looked suspiciously like Route 44 in Greenville to get to the train station, which looked like Grand Central, and then was suddenly on the train. I was carrying my big blue pep band duffel bag (I kept hitting people with it) and I didn't have a ticket, so I had to keep dodging the conductors by moving up cars. The train itself was red and old fasioned, with a black interior and seats like the ghetto trains here have. There were also these balcony seats outside the windows.

At the rear of the train, I ran into a man who looked like my dad and his young son whose name was Daniel. The kid was about three or four years old and had the same silly mushroom cut my brother had when he was little. He kept running away from his dad, who kept yelling at him. I talked to the man about my brother and then counted the stops to Ronkonkoma, because the speaker system was fuzzy. The train was making stops, but no one seemed to be getting off, and then it suddenly stopped and EVERYONE was in front of the door and I managed to sneak outside without the conductors ticketing me.

Then I was outside of the circus, which was in this big silver building with no doors and a low cut hedge maze (but for some reason you couldn't step on the hedges. Don't remember why- but it was low cut enough you could see through it.) A man with a swipe card appeared inside the maze and the father-figure (minus the kid) and I were about half way through it when Matty called and scared me into reality.
Subbing again. I've doing that alot lately- I picked up a five hour shift last night, and then two hours today (Jetsfan was willing to promise his first born if I took this shift for him. I told him to keep the kid, but he owes me dinner.) I'm picking up Cam's shift next Friday night....sooooo craziness. I'll be rich. :D

Started packing today. The majority of my desk is in boxes, along with all of my dresses and coats from my closet and everything on my walls. Hannah was shocked when she got back and saw I took down all the posters and pictures. The walls look entirely too bare. When I get off my shift, I'm going to tackle the stuff on the wall by my desk and maybe some of my clothes if I'm feeling ambitious. I don't go home until a week from tomorrow, but I want to be able to devote all of next week to school and hanging out with friends. I really don't want to worry about packing then.

I have to do laundry today, but that should be the last time I do it before I go home. I had to pick up detergent which sucked, because I'm going to go home with an almost full bottle of All. No dryer sheets at Dutch though... oh well.

Played Manhunt last night! Got dragged around Calkins Quad at 2am kicking and screaming towards the jail. All in all, a good time.

That's it, really.
My weekend's been so bad it's made me consider transferring to URI. I don't know. It was brought up as a possibility because of the whole "we have to re-wire the whole house" deally,  but this has actually made me stop and think about it as a viable option. There are other reasons too, but I always had something keeping me here. Don't get me wrong, I hate URI. I hate the campus, the location, the whole bit, but at least there I know what to expect. I don't know. This whole situation has just thrown me for a loop.

I'm not used to relying on someone as heavily as I rely on her. And I fucked up. I fucked up. And now, she won't even speak to me long enough to allow me to apologize. The worst part is, where she goes, Matty follows, which leaves me with.......Cam. And I feel bad on that one. Today, he was nice enough to put up with me for literally the whole day: I drifted outside sometime during his RSR shift in Republic this morning, stayed until he went to his room, followed, and stayed with him until three. Then at 10:30 he came downstairs and watched a movie. It's not fair to him though- he's not exactly the social type, and I feel ridiculous imposing on him all the fucking time. But he's it. That's it.

Fuck, I'm as alone as when I started.

Ryan didn't help matters either, but we discussed it. Needless to say, I was alone. All day.

.....Lea and I could get that apartment we always thought about.......

......Gabe would still be there, in a more literal sense.......

.......that long distance relationship wouldn't be quite so long distant......

I want to scream and hit something. I feel like I'm being torn in half.
We're supposed to get thunderstorms tomorrow. I hope we do- really angry ones with lots of lightning. I need a good thunderstorm.

The end of the year laziness is hitting me hard. I skipped my last two Japanese classes.... cause I'm awful like that. When I get out of work, I'm gonna go for a walk. Campus has all of a sudden become pretty.

Umm... I did something stupid last night, but, in a way, it worked out, so its ok.

I want to watch a sappy movie like whoa. And someone to cuddle with. I, unfortunately, have the former, but not the latter.

: /
Working working working.....

I have a half an hour left.

I had a blast last night. They held a drag show in the student center, and it= amazing. Justine and I were both collections of boys clothes from upstairs. I wore Rafal's tux pants and jacket and Steve's shoes, socks, shirt, vest, bow tie, and cuff links. It took a couple of tries to get it all right- Steve's pants didn't fit me and I ended up having to ask around for another pair of pants. I also had to bind my chest which meant I couldn't breathe and Matt ripped on me from going from a C to nothing.

Justine looked like a trucker. She also did a random collection from the boys upstairs and ended up wearing Nick's pants and hat, Mike's wife-beater, Adam's belt, Kevin's boxers, Steve's shoes, and Cam's Ninja turtle's hoodie. She, all in all, looked hilarious. We rolled up a paper joint for her and then had to teach her how to properly hold a cigarette. Matt kissed her on the cheek and left a huge lip print, and that was pretty sweet too.

And Matt! Matt wore my green skirt and white halter top and Justine's wedge heels. He also wore a flower in his hair and shit loads of make up. He ended up looking like a pregnant hula dancer with really short hair. It was great. :D

Cam came upstairs to see us off and nearly dropped his sax when Matty opened the door. Oh dear....

The show itself was amazing. The MC's were hilarious and there were a few really funny acts including renditions of "Holla back girl," "Dick in a box," and "I need a hero," as well as a funny dancing cop. The people on stage definitly had fun with it and it meant the audience did too.

Umm... in other news, I've been following baseball. Err... it has a lot to do with hanging out with Cam because he's really into it, so I've been learning. He was disappointed the Yanks lost not once, not twice, but three times to the Sox last week. :D

I've got a project due in psycholinguistics on Thursday, and I'm debating skipping Japanese today I am skipping Japanese today. I end up sleeping through it, and I'm not feeling all that well anyway. I've only missed it twice, and I'm really far ahead anyway (most of my class hasn't opened the text book yet....) I'll just pick up the assignments from Lara.

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